One of the bits of advice spouses get while their soldiers are deployed is to stay busy. Get a job, volunteer, be social and go on outings, work on a project. It's great advice. Kind of.
Before my husband left, I heard one spouse say that tackling a big project during a deployment is awesome. Not the kind of 'cool!' we associate with awesome, but the true meaning - that it should inspire respect and wonder.
I didn't get it. I remember thinking, "but I'll have all this free time." I had a long list of projects that I'd have nothing but time to work on.
Well... about three weeks after he left I got a job. Good for me! But I've felt baffled by how difficult it's been to adjust to a full time schedule.
I've worked full time before. Millions of people do it every day. Single parents do it. People with six kids do it. Commuters spends hours a day on trains and buses and do it.
Perhaps it feels hard because of the missing.
When my husband first left, I felt a deep pain in my chest. After a few
weeks it dulled to an ache. Now it's morphed again, settling into the
atmosphere like a fog. It's out there, surrounding me. I have to use caution,
but I can get through it.
But depressed people muddle through too. We all have our mountains to summit.
Why do we expect so much from ourselves? Not only do we expect that we should be able to do many different things, but that we should also be able to do them well and do them effortlessly.
Let's look around at the mountains we summit every day. Perhaps we no longer see them because they've become part of the routine. Let's give ourselves a little credit. Military or not, sometimes just keeping going is awesome.
Ten weeks down and thirty to go!
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