6 Ways Being a Military Spouse Is Like Being in High School

As I reflect on various aspects of military life, I am struck by how much it reminds me of high school. From the good, bad and ugly, much of what I endured as a teenager still rings true.

1. Being a Freshman

Moving to a new duty station is like being a freshman. No matter how many moves you’ve done, there is still that feeling of heading off to a new school. Will you make friends? How on earth will you find all of your classes? What will you wear?

As a freshman, I remember the excitement and terror swirling simultaneously. I remember searching the halls for familiar faces, hoping someone I knew had the same lunch period as I did.

I still search for those friendly faces, but now I do it on Facebook.

It can take a little while, but eventually you learn the ropes. You start walking the halls with more self-assurance. You find out where your classes are or, in our case, the commissary, Post Exchange, Army Community Service and fitness centers. Your version of student council becomes volunteering with the spouses’ club, USO or family readiness group.

Before you know it, you’re the one showing newcomers around.

2. Being a Senior

After being at our current duty station for four years, I find it bewildering to think that in high school terms I have become the senior.

As a freshman, I remember looking up to the juniors and seniors. Tyler, Robbie, Leigh – they were so cool. As they graduated, school got a little lamer. I missed those role models.

I still feel that way as spouses I’ve looked up to move on to their next duty stations. I can’t imagine not seeing some of those smiling faces around post. They all have such grace, humor and wisdom. They, too, will be missed.

There’s also that feeling of senioritis.

As a senior, I was eager to go off to college, learn new things and explore a new place. That final stretch of exams was agony.

As a military spouse, as much as I dread moving, after a while I become eager to go off to Army-knows-where, learn new things and explore a new place. Waiting for orders can be agony.

3. Being a Transfer Student

When a Soldier gets reassigned, even on the same installation, the transition brings with it new family readiness groups, coffee groups, peer groups and more.

I can’t help but think of “The Breakfast Club,” which brought a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal together for detention one Saturday.

Being a transfer can be tough as you try to figure out where you fit in.

“Put yourself out there,” people say.

Yes. But many find the prospect of awkward conversations terrifying. I remind myself those conversations are not nearly as excruciating as the awkward silences, so I look for others on the fringes who might feel equally as uncomfortable as I do.

Rule No. 1 of being a transfer student: pretend like everyone else is a transfer student, too.

4. Gossip

I’ll admit I used to relish the whispered tones in high school halls as I heard about who said what to whom. While I wasn’t at the level of “Mean Girls,” I used to enjoy a juicy tidbit.

Now I search out a different kind of juicy tidbit. Where is a good place to get my hair done? Can anyone recommend a dry cleaner in the area? Who offers military discounts? Where are good places to eat?  What fun events are coming up?

That’s my kind of hearsay.

5. Going Steady 

Remember your first serious boyfriend or girlfriend? In the glow of teen adulation, they were the center of your adolescent world and you probably would have followed them anywhere.

Military spouses, does that sound familiar?

6. Zits 

Without fail, the week before the big dance - or the military ball, I always got a giant zit.

Some things never change.